Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.
And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser
“what was it like 400 years ago?” fuck if i know. i don’t even remember what it was like last week.
catch me procrastinating basic tasks for twenty times longer
“oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to fixing that window, but I’ve just been so busy, y’know?”
“you’ve lived here since 1740″
MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Walking through a museum and seeing some old things of yours and just going “FUCK. FUCK GOD DAMN IT, I’ve been looking for this forEVER” and then trying to haggle with the curator to get your shit back
ahhh now I understand why Jeff Goldblum is like that
